3 Months

We have been blessed with a "high need baby." This means he has a long list of dislikes and a short list of likes. Is our high need baby high need because he just is, or is it because he has two softie parents that can't help but cater to this long list of dislikes? I am as we speak, letting him cry it out and torturing myself by having the video monitor right next to my computer. I think he is too young for this, but I have little choice as I have to go back to work, and since he won't go "down" for naps, meaning, I have been carrying/rocking/patting/wearing him for 3 months (I've lost all my baby weight plus 20 lbs), I have to do something because my mother and mother-in-law will be watching him, and I can't expect them to cater to him as much as I do in the way that I do. I want to poke my eyes out!

He's basically not let up. It's been nearly 30 minutes. He is fed, swaddled, dry and safe. I have to keep telling myself he won't remember this later. I have responded quickly to his cries for three months. He must trust that I will be right back because as soon as I did yesterday, he was cooing and smiling and quiet. But he didn't nap. Isn't that the point? I don't know what to do. My family has joked and said they would call Supernanny on me. I'd love to have Supernanny come see this and tell me what to do. It's really going against every instinctual ounce in my body, and I just can't take it, especially when Robert is not here. 15 minutes to go. I am going to poke my eyes out!

If you see lots of pictures of Lucas here sleeping, swaddled and on a pillow on this blog, it's because every time I've been able to get him to lay down like that, it's been a major triumph. Every other time, he's napped in someone's arms, in the Moby wrap, in the car or in the stroller.

I remember watching the Mad About You episode where they let their baby cry it out, and I thought it was just something everyone did. We actually have a choice, and we are trying to do this, but I can't help but feel really alone and like it's a bunch of crap. I know it works for lots of babies, I just don't think it's working for my baby. I can do anything for an amount of time, though. If it doesn't work, I just hope I find something that does. I also wish doctors would give advice to patients that gave them choices instead of a one size fits all approach that doesn't consider the whole picture. Not all medicines work for all babies, why should sleep methods? Ultimately, parents are going to do whatever they choose, but at least present a variety of methods.

OMG, he's sleeping. He stopped. At 30 minutes he stopped. I hope he sleeps a while so all his effort gives him rest. Thanks for IMing me through this, Jeremy!